Dear Slinkman
by floppymcfoppybottoms
Summary: Slinkman recalls an autumn afternoon long past and longs to feel the same feelings he felt then.


**(Author's note: Hi, Floppy here again. I know it's been awhile, but I've been busy talking to many publishers about pushing some of my work forward through to the public. Haven't heard a lot of responses but I am optimistic. In the meantime, here's a little piece on Camp Lazlo as told through Slinkman's perspective. Enjoy, and as always, don't criticize me.)**

* * *

It was a Tuesday at Camp Kidney. As I recall there was a coolness in the air. One that I had not felt since last autumn. The autumn where I, Slinkman, had become a man-slug. Alas, before some twist of fate and a twist of lemon, I had been but a mere boy-slug. As I felt the air pass by on my epidermis I knew that I longed for the feelings of that long lost autumn again.

"Mr. Slinkman."

The Indian-accented yelp from the young elephant boy snapped me out of my trance-like state.

"Yes, Raj, what is it?"

"Mr. Slinkman it is mating season for Clam again and he is rampaging around the camp humping everything in sight," Raj complained.

"Everything in sight," Clam repeated stupidly as he dashed by, chasing after some indistinguishable camper.

I sighed. "And has anyone called animal control yet?"

"Yes, as per Camp Kidney Safety Protocol 68, but they said they would not come back here again! Not after what happened last time!"

I sighed again, even longer this time. An unnecessarily long sigh. "Well, just let him hump it out I suppose. He's not hurting anyone THAT much, is he?"

"Well Mr. Slinkman," Raj yelped, "I really don't know how to explain, but Clam has a barbed..." Raj looked around to make sure no one was listening (this show is PG, remember?) and whispered into my ear: "...wiener."

"Oy vey," I moaned as Jewishly as physically possible.

Suddenly, Lazlo came running by. "I got him!" Lazlo shouted optimistically as always, dashing after Clam with a tranquilizer gun.

"Lazlo, wait!" Raj shouted, "Do you not remember what happened last time you used a tranquilizer gun?"

I thought back to the last time Lazlo had used a tranquilizer gun. It was the summer of '69 on a nude beach in France...

"I got him!"

I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned to see Clam asleep, a tranquilizer dart stuck inside the meat of his left butt-cheek.

"Get him OUT OF ME!" Edward shouted out in pain from below Clam.

"No, we don't wanna pull him out of you like that," Lazlo told him calmly. "He's balls deep in there. If we try we might do some serious colonic damage."

"AAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!" Edward shouted.

I couldn't help but smile. Those boys were really coming into their own and learning to handle their own situations. Their parents would be proud. If they weren't all dead.

I walked casually over to the scoutmaster's cabin. I was about to open the door when I felt my slug-butthole moisten. My body shivered a familiar shiver as my hand paused almost reluctantly. I knew this feeling... It was the same feeling I had felt just moments ago. I had played the scenario out in my head over and over: behind that door awaited the half naked moose who would pull me close to him and, smiling, pick me up and carry me into his bedroom where we would...

"No, that was months ago," I told myself. "Just because it happened once doesn't mean it will happen again."

I finally opened the door. As I expected, there was no one standing in the doorway. Just silence. I stepped inside, closing the cabin door behind me, and took a left into the scoutmaster's office. I looked down at my clipboard, ready to give the daily report.

"Sir, there was a commotion outside moments earlier in regards to the Clam boy who was causing quite a stir up in some butts but it's all taken care of."

I looked up and saw that the scoutmaster wasn't in his office but instead there was a note above the fireplace with my name on it. "To: Slinkman," it read.

I dashed over and grabbed the note. My heart fluttered and my body jittered nervously as I read:

"_Dear Slinkman,_

_'Meat' me in my room. I have something for you. A very special present for a very special friend. Can you guess what it is?_

_P.S. If I were a deliveryman it'd be my package._

_Love,_

_Lumpy._"

I let the note fall carelessly to the floor as I stumbled out back into the hall. I looked at the stairway and noticed it was littered with rose petals and a single bottle of wine. There was a note taped to it that read simply: "Drink up."

I let the note fall carelessly to the floor as I grabbed the wine bottle. It was a finely aged bottle of 'Putain de Cul,' my favorite wine. I popped the cork with the bottle opener conveniently placed nearby and downed the whole bottle in seconds. It didn't take long for the alcohol to hit me. The warm fuzzy feeling washed over me mixed in a sea of emotions.

I walked dizzily up the stairs and saw the dimly lit, half open door before me. I pushed it open.

"Hello, Slinkman."

My butthole puckered.

"I've been waiting for you," Lumpus cooed. He ran his index finger up and down the linen bedsheets. There was a spot next to him.

"Helloooo," I replied drunkenly. My optical tentacles would not stay still, not even for a second.

I must have been standing in the doorway for many moments before Lumpus called out: "Are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to join me tonight?"

"I'd like- I'd like to... to join you," was my reply.

Lumpus laughed ever so quietly. "Well come in and lock the door, silly."

I did as the moose commanded. Locking the door behind me I made my way over to the edge of the bed.

Lumpus patted the vacant spot. "Come on in. The water is nice and warm."

I was able to lay down before he pulled the bedsheets over me. He came in close and grabbed the waist of my pants.

"Not wearing a belt today?" I could smell the alcohol on his breath. How did Lumpus stay so well-composed even when drunk. "It's almost as if you remembered."

He had my pants off in seconds and thew them to the floor.

"Of c-course I remember, sir."

"I know, Slinkman, I know."

I felt his cartoon moose cock puncture my slug orifice.

"The best part about you, Slinkman, is you come pre-lubed."

"I love you sir," I moaned.

Just like last autumn.

**END**

(Author's note part II: sorry for the tease! I'll bring more to the table next time! Love, Floppy)


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